>Happy Fathers Day!

>To all the great Father’s out there enjoy your day! I thought I’d share this joke with you all.

So you want to changer your oil and your a man you can do it by yourself.. but is it really worth it?

Saturday:

  1. Drive to the Auto Parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree. Write a check for $50.
  2. Stop by 7-11 and buy a case of beer. $20.00. Drive home.
  3. Open a beer and drink it!
  4. Spend 30 minutes looking for the jack stands, which you finally find. Jack car up.
  5. In frustration drink another beer.
  6. Place drain pan under engine.
  7. Spend an hour looking for the 9/16 box end wrench. Give up and use a crescent wrench.
  8. Unscrew Drain plug.
  9. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil. Splashing oil all over good shirt since you have told wife there is no need to change into old clothes.
  10. Crawl out from under car to wip hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
  11. Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
  12. Give up: Crawl under care and hammer a screwdriver through the oil filter with the hammer and twist oil filter off.
  13. Crawl out from under the car with filter dripping oil all over the driveway.
  14. Cleverly hide used oil filter among trash to avoid environmental penalties.
  15. Neighbor shows up. Finish off case of beer. Decide to finish oil change tomorrow so can go see the neighbor’s new garage door opener.
  16. Sunday, skip church because ” I gotta finish the oil change.” Drag pan of oil oil out from underneath the car.
  17. Cleverly dump oil in hole in back yard instead of taking it back to Auto parts store to recycle.
  18. Throw Kitty litter on oil spilled while removing the drain pan.
  19. Run to 7-11 again to buy another case of beer.
  20. Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.
  21. Dump first quart of oil into engine. Remembering the drain plug removed yesterday is now buried in a hole in the back yard with the used oil.
  22. Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for the drain plug. Steal sand from the kid’s sandbox to cover the oily patch of ground in the backyard.
  23. Wash the drain plug, using lawnmower gasoline.
  24. Throw kitty litter on the first quar of oil that drained onto the driveway.
  25. Drink beer.
  26. Crawl under car getting kitty litter in eyes. Wipe eyes with rag used to clean the drain plug.
  27. Slip stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame. Bang head on floorboards in reaction to pain from banging knuckles. Begin cussing fit and throw crescent wrench.
  28. Crawl through wife’s roses to retrieve crescent wrench.
  29. Track oil through the house while finding band-aids to use on head, knuckles and scratched arms.
  30. Drink beer.
  31. Dump in 5 fresh quarts of oil.
  32. Lower car from jack stands accidentally crushing remaining case of new oil.
  33. Move car back to apply more kitty litter to oil draining out of case.
  34. More beer.
  35. Test Drive car.
  36. Get pulled over, and arrested for driving under the influence. Car gets impounded.
  37. Call loving wife after church, to post bail.
  38. 12 hours later get car from impound yard.
  • Money spent:
    • Parts– $50
    • DUI–$450
    • Impound Fee– $175
    • Bail– $1500
    • Beer– $40
    • Total== $2215.00

Moral of the story pay the $30 or so and take the car in to get the oil changed. Relax!

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